I would like to issue a blanket apology to China. As it turns out, the Walmart t-shirts that almost killed me are actually from India. And given India's environmental track record, it probably wasn't even formaldehyde, but whatever the more toxic, birth defect inducing version of formaldehyde is. So, an apology to formaldehyde, too. Sorry, bros. On the good side of things, a member of our local supporting cast happens to be a doctor and gave me a sweet prescription for some kind of steroid to destroy these god damn hives (much like the universal acknowledgment of how corny bands in matching uniforms are destroyed The Hives). I'm assuming that, in addition to curing this ailment, the 'roids will improve the speed of my fast ball. My slider is already deadly how it is, however.
Oh yeah, Home, James. Hey, have I mentioned that I'm in Tulsa shooting a movie? Pretty sure I've mentioned that once or twice. Well, yesterday we had the pleasure of shooting most of the day at a really cool coffee shop/store called Dwelling Spaces. Although, if you look at the sign outside from the right angle it actually says Swelling Spaces. True story.
Side note: Super Su just made grilled cheese sandwiches and now Julie can't stop burping. It's like sitting in a room with Archie Bunker.
Anyway, we shot in Dwelling Spaces and who showed up? None other than local Oklahoman nudist/Flaming Lip, Wayne Coyne. Here's a picture of us together:
Yeah, he was pretty stoked to see me, too. On the other hand, none of the August: Osage County cast showed up. Hmmmm. I guess their invites to be extras in our party scene must have gotten lost in the mail. Although, "I dare you to show up," carved into dead fish may not make the most inviting invitations. We'll have to rethink that next time.
One of the more interesting moments of our shoot last night came when our lead actress tried to kill me. And, while it doesn't actually work as a murder weapon, it turns out that absolutely blistering digital distortion being drilled directly into the center of your skull via both ears is an effective way to drop a man to his knees. I like to think that she didn't mean to do it, because I only see the good in people.
Hay, here's another thing: it was time for the second Golden Driller Award. This week's winner was our new PA, Cary. I could ask someone what his last name is, but I'm tired and he has a kind of Madonna/Price type thing going on anyway, so to me he's just Cary. I do have to give the guy some serious credit. He's, I don't know, eleven years old (?), has never been on a set before, had to endure Marshall Bell hazing him and still showed up the next day with a really cool attitude and ready to work. Hats off to you, Cary. Here he is receiving the award:
Sadly, when we started chanting "Speech! Speech!" he hesitated too long and by the time he started to say something we had all walked away. Because it was a long day. Also, to be honest, he's actually like 17 or something, and I would feel badly if he read this and thought I was making fun of him. Those of you that know me can attest that I never take cheap shots at anyone for the sake of an easy joke. Ever.
I would also like to mention that last night was the final Home, James shoot for the Notorious Gill Brothers. Yeah, we're still a little bummed out that they weren't twins, but we liked them anyway and are sad that they're wrapped out. Thanks, guys. It was great working with you. Until next time...
One crew member that absolutely no one is sad to see go, however, is Molly. She seemed sweet at first, but as the day dragged on it became clear that all she wanted to do was aimlessly wander around, groom herself and spend long periods of time staring at the catering table with a pathetic look on her face. And, to compound matters, she was probably the world's worst boom operator...
At least she was cute.
Night, y'all (see? I'm also learning the native language here!) Tomorrow's call is super late, so I'll have time during the day to write a more insightful upda....oh, who am I kidding? I'm just going to barf out a bunch of garbage again and somehow find a way to relate it to our film shoot and production sound mixing.
Oh, yeah! That reminds me. We finally shot the "Barfing Man" scenes tonight. While I'm too tired to explain to you dear people what that means, doesn't that alone make you want to see this movie when it's done?
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